Nightmares of Thorny Path

Torture is not physical. A physical brochure cannot break humans. It
is the psychological torture that has always been at helm of affairs
in which victims of the persecution has been suffering the worst.

When we returned from Kathmandu, Nepal through maneuvering of
Pakistani agencies there, the worst was waiting for us in Sindh,
particularly in Hyderabad. It was shocking to know that whole of my
broader family and the friends were trapped and were under tight grip
of the intelligence agencies.

One early morning, I remember, my revered Uncle asked me to get along
with him in car since the time has come as it comes for every
dissenter. We moved towards Qasim Chowk, our car was stopped near
Hyderabad Cantt. Vehicles of Army were already positioned there. Uncle
and myself saw at them, they pointed gun at me and after a while gave
a gesture to my uncle that take him away. We drove back home.

"Miti jo manhoon aheen. Miti me wanjan lai bi tiyar rahan khapey."

(You are a man from the dust of the motherland. One has to get ready
for mixing back with the dust.)

I still remember that my family members were kept on saying for the
whole month long, "You are insane, a mental case." And, when they said
this, they silently gestured me that they are in a situation in which
they are forced to say this.

The day I was to hold press conference in Hyderabad, I was said that I
am abnormal therefore holding press conference. Even a psychologist,
Dr. Shahnawaz was actively thinking to administer some drugs before
holding the press conference so that the action may be postponed. I
don't know who was in contact with the doctor.

In anyways, I was taken to the doctor after press conference. He
received a call. Someone talked with him on my issue through phone. He
replied "I know this is an international case; however he is in
Pakistan, therefore he is our responsibility." I don't doubt anyone's
intention, all are good persons; however I want to mention about the
strange happenings.

A friend told me on my third day in Hyderrabad that our family is
trapped. He said that avoid taking food with the family and friends
since everyone was under severe pressure and trap. Therefore, I
started purchasing food from some trusted outlets.

I was already knowing that my families have underwent sever. January
2012 was like hell for my family. They faced the unexpected worst.
Time and again, my family members were called out to Military
Intelligence (MI) and Inter Service Intelligence (ISI) and almost all
intelligence agencies used to visit my home and me every now and than.

In that particular moment, there was another phenomena. Human Rights
Commission of Pakistan (HRCP) Sindh Chapter persons asked me to meet
Asima Jehangir. Karamat Ali of PILER gave me a ring and said that I
should meet him because the matter has to be decided in Lahore.
Mohammad Taheen of South Asia Partnership of Pakistan (SAP-PK) said
that he is unable to help us out in this situation. I was
sarcastically said by a civil society activist, "Would you dare now to
go to Nangarparkar and Thar again?" I received a telephone call from
Zakiya Arshad of SAP Pakistan saying "Tumhara Shoq poora ho gaya.
Tumhari uraan poori hogai. Ab to hum log aap se baat naheen karna
chahtey." (Did you fulfill your dreams? Your flight is over now. Today
we ourselves don't want to talk with you.)

When a component of Amnesty International (AI) contact HRCP's I. A.
Rehman regarding me, he told them that he would be contacting with me.
He did not contacted me. AI itself contacted me after they did not
heard back from I A Rehman.

I was already knowing that my families and colleagues in the office
been undergoing worst since long, especially after 2011, therefore I
was not aggrieved on their silence. I cannot say anything but the
words that O God, none's family should undergo the worst of the worst
nightmares like mine one has faced.

IN INDIA:

Although our persecution in India is quite understandable since they
gave silent consent to Pakistan for poisoning me, or at least they
adopted a criminal silence despite the fact that I had a considerable
contribution for Indian Think Tanks concerning Peace and South Asian
affairs.

I just am mentioning some words uttered by someone at Jantar Mantar,
when I held protest:

"We supported Tamils. And we our selved destroyed them in Sri Lanka.
Now we would destroy the secessionist movement in Sindh." I replied,
"the movement that you have neither created, nor supported, can never
be destroyed by the Indian authorities nor they have right to do so."
At that time, I recalled the words of a Sindhi nationalist leader,
while I asked him in my youth about regional countries' attitude
towards Sindh rights movement. He said that unfortunately, the Indian
friendly cushions in Pakistan have also been attempting the
fragmentation of Sindhi nationalist movement.

The time has changed now. Although that particular thought towards
Sindhis might have changed a little. India and so many other countries
ultimately would think differently in the future due to the dictate of
upcoming time's change in international politics.

TINTING IMAGE

My living place in Rohni and for a shorter period at the place where I
am living these day has remained on the live telecast to so many
people, as I have been told by someone. At the same time, I have been
given pharmacy compounds of losing senses, behave abnormally as well
as enhance stimulation. Guttered dramas were held all around to force
me thinking in ugly manner. They just want to give a full stop to my
creative thinking so that I may stop writing. They just want to prove
me insane in a bid to hide their crimes carried against us personally.

FAILURE

One thing I am sure, they would always face a failure in a basic thing
-- we can never be in favor of Pakistan. I will try my best to keep on
writing. I will try unto last for opinionating for the freedom of
Sindh.

Zulfiqar Shah, New Delhi, India